My first memory of childhood joy was more of a feeling. I remember living in Queens, New York. My family consisted of my older sister, me, my brother and my little sister. My mother was a full-time parent who was always at home, no matter what. My father was always absent. He worked full time and lived across town, closer to his job. At that young age, I barely noticed that he was gone. I remember the feeling of being extremely happy and excited when he came to visit us because we missed him and he always gave us money. I remember the overwhelming feeling of joy I felt seeing my father every afternoon when he left work. He came to visit us. He would ask us how our day went and spend time with us. About an hour after he arrived, he gave each of us a dollar bill to spend at the corner store. I was lucky and felt like I was rewarded for my good behavior. My sister was the oldest of all of us. He would take us to the corner store to buy whatever we wanted with the dollar Dad had given us. In the 1980s, a dollar bill could stretch a lot and buy a lot. There were a few items we bought every time we went. Bags of Dorito chips were only $0.25. Juices were also $0.25. We would always get red, blue, orange or green flavored juices. No other flavor was as good as these colors. I remember the times when I would have to fight with my brother for the last good flavor available. I would then have $0.50 left to purchase what else I wanted. The other half of the dollar has never been the same. I would change it every time. Debbie's small cakes were $0.25 each. Some days I would have a Twinkie. Other days I would get a Ding Dong. There was a huge variety of different types of cakes...... middle of paper......! How come I was surrounded by all these people I knew, but didn't know. I knew them by name, but I knew nothing about them. For the past three years I had isolated myself from meeting other people. I felt so alienated and detached from my classmates. As the days went by I felt less and less like going to school. Even though I knew almost everyone at school, I still felt lost and alone. I ended up dropping out of school a couple of times that year because of the awkward feelings I had attending that school. I knew I really needed to graduate by any means necessary, so what I decided to do was enroll in a new local high school for my senior year. My focus and goal was to graduate, not attend a social function. From the moment I entered the new school, I made my goals a reality and graduated that year.