The search for emotional perfection in ordinary people During the life cycle, a person undergoes many changes. You mature both physically and emotionally as time goes by. Emotional growth is very often more difficult than physical growth. A person must realize his own shortcomings and admit them before he can develop emotionally, while no self-analysis is necessary to develop physically. In her book Ordinary People, Judith Guest describes the struggles that man must face to achieve his ideal emotional perfection. Conrad, the book's protagonist, and his father Calvin, were both seeking higher levels of emotional health. Conrad had to vent and face all the feelings he had repressed, while Calvin had to correct his confused outlook on life. Conrad's psychological problems were caused by the fact that he repressed his feelings and sought the approval of others. He hid all his feelings and emotions and judged himself based on what others saw and thought. When Miss Melon, Conrad's English teacher, asked him, "Do you want an extension?" Conrad's immediate response was "NO" (18). He refused her offer of assistance because he felt that help took away his dignity and personal pride. Conrad internalized what everyone else said and did and judged himself based on it. Conrad thought to himself: "It's all his fault. Any connection with him leads to failure. Loss. Hurt... Everywhere he looks, there is competence and good health... He doesn't want to defile, he doesn't want to find further evidence of his lack ." of value" (116). Conrad looked at everyone else and concluded that everyone else was "ordinary" and that he was a problem. He was afraid that because he wasn't "normal", ... middle of paper ... he would cause problems for everyone he had contact with. After much struggle, however, Conrad realized that he wasn't the problem and that he didn't need to hold back his feelings. Calvin initially thought Beth was perfect and was confused about the extent of his responsibility as a father. With Dr. Berger's help, Calvin came to understand that Beth was not the ideal mother and that the things she blamed herself for were not really her fault. The conclusion can be drawn that external help is needed to develop psychologically. Calvin and Conrad voluntarily met with Dr. Berger seeking assistance while Beth refused his help. This may be why Beth has not been able to reach emotional maturity while Calvin and Conrad have matured a lot. Works Cited and Consulted Guest, Judith. Ordinary people. New York: Ballantine Books, 1979.