There are only two states for this: surviving and thriving. A “feeling,” however, is the cognitive perception of an emotional state” (Post, 2010, p.1). It goes on to discuss the basic elements of love, which include: patience, understanding, tolerance, acceptance, awareness, and flexibility. The basis for building a new relationship with a difficult child is to come to the realization that the child was not placed in your life by God for you to make him or her what you want him or her to be; it is to “protect, guide, and encourage them as God shapes them into what God wants them to be” (p. 3). I believe this is an important observation, as most of us have a tendency to want to mold our children into our likeness, rather than allowing God to mold them into our likeness.